“Im non-violent like Martin before his death”

In normal life I am a very laid back  person. I enjoy reading, the bible and a good puzzle to pass the time. However whenever Im doing anything competitive whether it be football, basketball or Taboo* I go fuckin’ insane and my temper has gotten me in trouble on more than one occasion**.

So yesterday after a long day at work I decided to see if there was a game going at my school. My man told me that a bunch of people would be out there at 6 and boy was he right. I arrived at 7 and there was a 3 team wait to get on the court. So I am already aggrivated by this long ass wait. I dont even get on to the courts until it is 8:15 upon which time I have been stewing for a good hour. First play of the game is pretty physical as I rip the ball from the kid I was guarding. The next two trips down the court he gets a couple of lucky baskets which annoy the hell out of me because his little friend starts saying slick shit like “all day” and “mismatch”. To cut this part of the story short let me just say that this punk aint score another bucket all game and I fouled the shit out of him on a play.

camera phone picture of the foul

camera phone picture of the foul

After all this commotion the other team ends up winning by 1. I’m walking off the court and the friend says some slick shit under his breath. I say “why don’t you speak up like a man” and this fool replies with “this is basketball not football, you need to learn how to play”.  Now I’m thinking in my head that this kid barely even touched the ball the whole game, the only reason why I know he was in the game is ‘cus he was talking to me at that moment. So without hesitation I say, “how bout you play me one on one and well see who knows how to play”. So now the stage is set in front of about 20 people and I give him ball first***. After about two seconds I knew I had made the right decision because this kid was absolute garbage. He misses his first shot, gets his own rebound and then I block the second. I finally get a rebound and get on offense. And this is where it all goes downhill.


I fake left and drive right, get past this bamma and go in for the layup and he fouls me. At this point I’m not even angry at the foul because I’m happy that I got past him so easily, this game was going to be a piece of cake. We check the ball up after the foul, and as I am talking trash with my hands on my knees I look away for a split second and as soon as I do this kid throws the ball at my face. I catch it, just because my reflexes are like a ninja, and without thinking drill the ball at his chest and start walking towards him. Now again I am non-violent, but I’m no punk either, so if young boy wants to wreck we can wreck. But of course he was a punk and just quit the game and told me to calm down. Making me look crazy for wanting to fight, which infuriated me more! I end up just walking away knowing two things, 1)this dude was a bitch, 2) I was better than him at basketball, and that’s all that really mattered to me in the end anyway.

*Ive broken more than one hourglass pieces after hurling them in a fit of rage

**Ive had a “gun” pulled on me and been jumped over basketball and trash talk

***cus bitches go first

Todays title comes from one of the illest songs ever, Cassidy feat Frankie Krutches “Hop Out”. On monday I will retroactively be going back and uploading these songs. So if you dont feel like downloading them independantly (lazy bastards) I got you.


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