“Yahh bitch Yahh”



What a day. And its not even 11 yet! OK so I get into the crib at 4 this morning, tired, completely smacked and disoriented. The pets that I am supposed to be watching are going fucking insane so I let them out for ten minutes, let them back in then hop in the bed for 4 hours of blissful sleep. This is the beginning of the worst morning of my summer*.

Composite sketch of what I looked like this morning

Composite sketch of what I looked like this morning


After oversleeping by about 25 minutes, I wake up to find that the motherfucking dog has decided to take a shit in front of the door**. I heard her barking last night but I was to smacked to get up and do anything as fucking dumb as letting her out and then waiting for her to come back like I did not have work in the morning. I get dressed in the same thing I had on the night before*** because I’m already running late and showering was not an option. Im all ready to leave when I open the front door and BOTH the cat and dog run out into the front yard. Now I have to get those two fuckers back into the house before I can leave. Another 5 minutes go by before they are inside and it is now 8:40.

My man might have had the right idea

My man might have had the right idea

Now it takes about 20 minutes on the metro to get to work from this place so Im still in pretty good shape. Im funky and nasty and wearing the same clothes from the last night, but at least I wasnt going to be late! Then to my horror I realize that in all of the commotion with the animals, I seem to have misplaced my keys****. After another 25 minutes of searching I find the keys and arrive at work 45 minutes late. Upon signing in to my computer I see that I have two emails from the fucking secretary telling me how I fucked up on Thursday and Friday. Now Im all for correction if I fuck up, but this bitch not only chews my ass out electronically, but she also tells my supervisor how I fucked up, insinuating in the email that I did not even show up for work on Thursday and Friday, which I absolutely did*****. My reaction to this was a mental uninterested “Yahh Bitch!” followed by a “Get out my face ho”. And to top it off I am finishing this post and its not even 11. I need to smoke something when I get back home.

*If I were a drama queen I’d say worst day of my life, but Im not, so I didnt.

**I guess this is my fault but that doesnt mean I shoudnt Mike Vick his ass

***Eww I know, but Im not gonna dirty up some clean clothes without showering.

****By my keys I mean the guy whose house this actually is

***** And can prove so

Todays title comes from the Mozart of the hip-hop generation, “Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em – Yahh Bitch”


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